


Overwatch, Professional Rumor Mill

by AbaddonProud



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Rumors, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 19:20:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10703454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbaddonProud/pseuds/AbaddonProud
Summary: Someone starts a rumor about a certain pair of commanders and a piece of furniture. Hijinks ensue.





	Overwatch, Professional Rumor Mill

It started, as most rumors do, within Blackwatch. Specifically, with Jesse McCree.

 

“I’m tellin’ ya,” the cowboy bit off a chunk of his brownie, hands waving animatedly as Genji, Lena, Torbjörn, and a young Fareeha sat gathered around him. “I heard it from the janitor who heard it from the other janitor…”

 

Lena interrupted, “It’s already two people out. I don’t believe you.”

 

Ignoring her, Jesse continued. “who said she caught Gabriel Reyes and Jack Morrison goin’ at it on the—”

 

Torbjörn slapped his hands over Fareeha’s ears. “She’s fourteen!” He cried.

 

The daughter of Captain Amari batted his hands away in annoyance. “Stop it! I want to know what they were doing. I’m old enough!” She protested.

 

“Will you two cut it out? I want to hear the rest!” Genji complained.

 

Jesse glanced warily at Fareeha. “Jus’ don’t go tellin’ yer ma about what I said.”

 

“Fine, fine! Just get on with it!”

 

The cowboy picked up his story. “Like I said, the janitor heard from the other janitor that she saw the leader of Blackwatch and the Strike Commander goin’ at it like rabbits on the conference table last night.”

 

Torbjörn, who had just taken a sip of coffee, spluttered, spraying the table. Genji was nearly on the floor laughing, while Fareeha had a deep blush settled permanently on her face. Lena kicked Jesse under the table.

 

“Not true,” she cried, “Absolutely not. They’re just friends!”

 

“It’s not hard to see,” Jesse said, immediately receiving a smack from the pilot. “Ow!”

 

After having recovered from his coffee mishap, Torbjörn spoke. “Say it actually happened. Is there any video footage from the conference room? Ya know, _evidence_?”

 

Fareeha’s eyes went wide in a mix of horror and disgust. “Even if there was, you think we’d want to watch it?”

 

McCree raises his hands in a mock surrender. “Hey, I’m jus’ the messenger here.”

 

Lena stood up and dumped her tray of food in the recycler. “You’re a lot more than that, Jesse. I personally think you’re just trying to start a rumor,” she said over her shoulder as she walked away.

 

“Nuh uh! You think I’d want Reyes on my ass for this? He’d kill me!”

 

Genji smirked, “Once he hears about this, rumor or not, you’ll be wishing you’d never have said anything about it.”

 

“If. _If_ Reyes hears this. I don’t want none of y’all tellin’ him!” The cowboy pointed at each one of them, squinting. His finger lingered on Fareeha. “’Specially you, missy.”

 

“Of course I won’t tell anyone, Jesse. You know me.”

 

“Uh huh. That’s what you said when I told you that I caught Lena makin’ eyes at Amélie. Guess who knew the next day? The entire base.”

 

“My ears are burning,” Amélie said as she sat down next to Genji. One of her delicate eyebrows arched. “What are you talking about?”

 

Jesse grinned, “Wait until you hear about what one of the janitors told me…”

 

The sniper took a sip of her coffee before setting it down and rubbing her hands together.

 

“Hit me.”

 

———————————————————

 

“—so all of the sudden, the janitor walks in, and they’re just screwing each other’s brains out!” Amélie laughed, “So she just backs out, because she can’t believe what’s happening in front of her!”

 

Gérard, Liao, and Reinhardt’s laughter quickly died down as Ana made her way over to the four. Reinhardt blushed sheepishly as his lover sat down next to him.

 

“No, go on,” the captain urged. Amélie’s audience looked up, caught between surprise and confusion. “What was this about?”

 

Amélie shrugged. “Our brave leaders, of course.” She winked. “A little story on the grapevine. Let’s see, how should I put this… Well, a certain piece of furniture in the conference room was christened last night.”

 

Captain Amari felt her cheeks heat a little. So the rumor she heard earlier was true. “I’m familiar with the euphemism, but the _conference table_?”

Reinhardt nodded along with her, but Gérard, Liao, and Amélie just smirked.

 

“Hot right? Just going at it between all the mission reports and files. It’d be a damn shame if they accidently called the Prime Minister on the phone…” Amélie trailed in a myriad of snickers. She was cut short at her husband’s light smack on her shoulder. “Alright! If you don’t want to have some blackmail material, just walk away!”

 

If Ana’s face was warm before, it as red hot as she tried and failed to banish an image of the Overwatch and Blackwatch leaders doing just as Amélie had described. “I’m sure it’s just a rumor.”

 

“Have you seen the way they look at each other?” Gérard chimed in, badly trying to keep a straight face as Angela approached the group. They all kept talking, knowing full well the doctor would catch on soon enough.

 

Gérard continued, “They’re like teenagers sometimes! I can barely stand it. If Gabriel and Jack indeed went at it, then good riddance! I just wish they wouldn’t have done it on the conference table.”

 

Angela’s mouth went slack.

 

“Gérard!” Ana chastised, before being interrupted by Liao.

 

“Angela, you know the two commanders well enough. They did it, didn’t they?”

 

The medic choked. “I-I must go.” She muttered before practically running back the way she came.

 

Ana shook her head in disbelief. Maybe it was true…

 

“Considering the number of missions they go on together; I don’t see how it couldn’t be true.” Liao mused, “Plus, think of how many times one of us have gone into the training room and seen them sparring? I’m just saying I wouldn’t be surprised.”

 

“Thank you!” Amélie cried, “At least someone sees it! Tell me I’m wrong!”

 

Captain Amari crossed her arms. “I’m leaving. I don’t want to hear any more of this.”

 

“Worried that it might be true?” Amélie leered.

 

“More like worried that you’ll be sent to Antarctica if either one of them hears about this. Neither of them like rumors,” Ana retorted.

 

“Maybe they should stop having sex on the conference table, then.”

 

———————————————————

 

Despite Ana’s attempts of dissuasion, Amélie and her cohorts managed to convice more than half of Overwatch and Blackwatch combined of their story within the span of the afternoon. Three times the seasoned sniper had come across Jesse trying to examine every inch of the conference room. Genji and Amélie had been in there a couple of times too. Ana just _knew_ it. She had locked the conference room an hour ago, but there was a merged Overwatch and Blackwatch meeting later that day. The world really had it out for Ana.

 

On her way to the meeting, alongside Jesse and Genji, she saw the two men ‘bump’ into each other, the latter slipping the cowboy a wad of cash.

 

Dryly, Ana spoke. “It’s a wonder you two are even in Blackwatch, seeing how conspicuous you both are.”

 

Jesse grinned, saying nothing of the matter. “Shall we?” He gestured to the conference room’s double doors.

 

Sitting down at the table, Ana caught herself examining the table. This rumor was really getting to her. To her left, Reinhardt was doing the same while looking a bit constipated.

 

Across the table, Torbjörn was resolutely _not_ touching anything on the table’s surface as he fiddled with some contraption. Winston, at one end, was visibly sniffing at the wood as if he might be able to pick up a scent. So the scientist had caught wind of the rumors as well, Ana thought.

 

The agents’ chatter fell silent as Gabriel entered. Jack followed behind, and everyone in the room shifted their gaze between the two. An awkward moment later, Gabriel spoke up.

 

“Are we set up?”

 

Amélie laughed outright, and Ana could see Gérard kick her under the table.

 

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed as Jack responded, “Ready when you are.”

 

This time, there are a lot more snorts, snickers, and chuckles. Gabriel snapped his head to look at Jesse, one of the loudest. The cowboy ducked his head down, obviously not wanting to die.

 

Jack continued. “Let’s begin.”

 

———————————————————

 

The meeting was over quickly, which was unusual. Gabriel took his time glaring at every single Overwatch and Blackwatch member at the table, trying to discern what had his and Jack’s agents so amused. No one broke.

 

Ana was positive Jesse, Genji, and Amélie exchanged more money at least once, if not twice, and Liao and Gérard were messaging each other about the damn table. Ana wished that this rumor would just blow over and everything would go back to normal. However, at the rate it was flying around, Jack or Gabriel would know soon enough.

 

Everyone filed out of the meeting room quickly enough, and a few congregated just outside, trying their best to appear inconspicuous as they glanced at the duo through the glass windows.

 

“Are y’all thinkin’ the same thing?” Jesse asked as he eyed each one of them.

 

Liao sighed. “Yeah. There’s no way we’re getting a repeated performance. What if it was a one-time thing? You know, blowing off some steam or something.”

 

“I bet it was hot.” Amélie said wistfully. Ana wanted to smack her right there, but Gérard beat her to the punch, literally.

 

———————————————————

 

Jack was in the middle of telling Gabriel about the latest mishap with a United States senator when he stopped mid-sentence.

 

“What it is?” Gabriel asked as he looked up.

 

“Everyone’s staring at us.”

 

Gabriel’s gaze shifted the the glass window, and sure enough, there was a decently sized crowd outside the conference room doors. Most of them averted their gaze when the Blackwatch commander made eye contact, but a few refused the look away, specifically Jesse damn McCree.

 

“I _told_ you that janitor saw us!” Gabriel jabbed a finger at the Strike Commander. “I fucking told you!”

 

“So?” Jack shrugged. “It’s just one person’s testimony. You know as well as I do that it’s swiss cheese when it comes down to it.”

 

“Stop using farm metaphors in conversations, Jack.” Gabriel muttered under his breath as he stalked from the room. The group outside quickly scattered as he opened the door to leave.

 

———————————————————

 

Amélie sighed dramatically as she set her tray down on one of the long tables spanning the length of the cafeteria. “Maybe you were right, Ana.” She bit a french fry in half. “I really wanted it to be true.”

 

“Why?” Lena asked, curiosity piqued.

 

The French woman shrugged. “I’m not sure, I just guess they seem like they’d be really good together.”

 

Jesse nodded. “It would sure reduce the level of tension Gabriel puts out.”

 

Genji and the other Blackwatch agents at the table agreed by lifting their cups.

 

Ana chuckled. “It looks like you all are just going to have to deal with some cranky Commanders.” She patted Fareeha’s hair.

 

Jesse groaned.

 

———————————————————

 

“—mm, harder!—”

 

Gloria cocked her head as the sound of something creaking reached her ears. Ignoring it, she pushed her janitorial cart to the conference room’s entrance. The empty corridors were playing tricks on her ears, it seemed. She pushed open the door, and—

 

“Oh for fuck’s sakes!”

 

A dark-skinned man wearing a beanie had his legs around the shoulders of a blonde, lighter-skinned man. The conference table was an absolute mess, tablets, pens, and assorted papers strewn _everywhere_. That was the only thing Gloria’s mind could compute at the moment because _dear goodness_!

 

The man on the bottom swore again. “How did you not hear her, Jack!” He cried.

 

“Me? Why didn’t you!” Jack stilled above his partner, making brief, awkward eye contact with the janitor.

 

“Gloria, I—I am so sorry.”

 

The only she could do was hold her hand over her eyes and do her best to backtrack out of the room. Cart abandoned, she quickly rushed down the hallway and away from… _that_.

 

Meanwhile, back inside, Gabriel smacked his partner hard on the head. “I fucking told you this was a bad idea. Even criminals know that repeating a crime in the same place is stupid!”

 

“I didn’t see you complaining,” Jack retorted. “We could have stopped, at any time.”

 

“Don’t you dare.” Gabriel growled, pulling the Strike Commander back towards him.

**Author's Note:**

> Would love to hear comments!


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